I’m Cooler Than You

Recently I was readying myself to order a shipment of Clif Bars. I visited their site to see if any hot new 2006 style flavors were available. I found this instead:

Imagining myself with a hard plastic credit card size tag to hang off my bag I quickly ordered five. They’ll make great gifts, right? To my dismay, “tags” apparently means something else in Clifbarlandia. They’re way more like bumper stickers than “tags.”

Maybe I’ll adorn the first five Humvees I find.

Anyway, there was an additional sticker in the envelope that I would have much rather had 10 of than the five “tags” I can’t use: